Two Weeks Ago
The cold was to the bone
I didn't like being alone.
My office was drab
And the paint kind of sad.
If I coulda, I woulda flown.
My feet were propped up.
I held a newspaper folded up.
The news was old.
My coffee was cold.
Politicians, they're all corrupt.
My office door opened with a crick.
She walked in, asked, "Are you a private dick?"
The question was reflective.
"Ahem, we prefer 'detective'."
I noticed her house was made out of bricks.
She strolled in and sat.
Crossed her legs and that was that.
I could tell she was hiring
She knew I was admiring.
These days my wallet wasn't exactly fat.
"I need help. I'm in danger."
"Don't worry, I used to be a park ranger."
She didn't think I was funny
I noticed her eyes were kinda runny
"Tell me your name so I won't be a stranger."
She said her name was Emma Bowser.
I asked what was it that so aroused her.
She sniffled and sneezed.
She bawled, "Oh please!"
I gave her a handkerchief from my trousers.
Between her tears she said with grief,
"I steal horses and dogs. I'm a purebred thief.
On my cell phone a voice said,
Kind of scary with a tone of dread
That they'll kill me and bury me beneath."
A death threat seemed very base
But it meant that I was on the case.
Threatening a girl so fine
Surely did cross the line.
This offender I would have to trace.
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